What is Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar ?? [Guest Writer]

Apart from the fact that you were born in India there is one more reason that makes you proud of being an Indian, it is Sachin. It is that Sachin Tendulkar is an Indian. It is that Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar puts on that blue jersey which makes you proud.

Some people become talented. Some people are born talented. Then there are some people who are gifted. Sachin does not fall in any of these categories. Sachin Tendulkar is beyond talents and beyond being gifted. He is, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

There are some people on screen you wait to see. There are some people on screen for whom you skip other things.Then there is Sachin who makes you leave everything, mind you, everything else and watch the screen. Sachin Tendulkar makes you hide the remote because you cannot take your eyes off him. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar makes you hug your television set, quite a few times, many a times.

There are some people who break records. Then there are some people who make new records. When Sachin plays, you don’t watch the score-card, you watch him. Sachin Tendulkar is beyond records, beyond statistics. So, when an under -19 or gully cricket is happening, one says...see that shot was like the Master Blaster’s. One doesn’t anymore compare him to anything or anybody. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar is the comparison.

There are some people, who when they fall sick make to the front page of national dailies. Then there are some people who when they fall sick, comments are taken from doctors and made the headlines. When Sachin falls sick, the whole country prays for him. When Sachin Tendulkar falls sick, quotes from fans, common masses across the nation make the news. When he had a tennis elbow, there were front page infographics showing what exactly has gone wrong in a certain ligament of the posterior side the elbow. It is then, that people, newspaper vendors, tea-sellers, pan-shop owners, who have no clue, absolutely no clue about what those photos are, discuss those intricate biological diagrams, test reports and x-rays, knowing that they do not understand a word of it all. They do it because of one simple reason; those graphics are of Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

There are some people who play. There are some people who play exceptionally well. Sachin is crusader on the pitch, so even if we lose, we know there is this one man who inevitably fought till the end. Sachin Tendulkar is the hope on the pitch, the hope that as long he is there at the crease, a miracle can happen anytime. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar is the smile on the pitch.

There are some people who are role-models. There are some people who represent a sport. Sachin is the other name for cricket in India. Sachin Tendulkar is the super-hero of millions and millions of kids and youngsters, a super-hero of his own kind who wins the combat by sweeps and strokes. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar is the photograph of a man with his bat held up under the tag, C for Cricket, on a worn out poster to teach kids alphabets.

“Sach is life.”


Info: Writer is an admirer of Sachin and a potential journalist. Also the writer badly wishes to know what you think of the blog entry.

PS: If you are feeling the urge to describe the two big O’s of Sachin then feel free to drop your article with your intro at cricketwithoutballs@gmail.com

The Black Swan Miracle

The 1st ODI between India and South Africa was witness to a rare blue moon event. It is a miracle, to say the least. And if you missed it, you have just lost yourself a chance to see the hand of God at play with your own eyes.

No.. I am not talking about the bizarre incident where a Yorker with 136 kmph, kisses the off stump and races away for four and the bails don’t fall. That was just weird.

No.. I am also not talking about Parnell’s blistering inning and his amazing partnership with Steyn which brought the game alive (so much so that it almost experienced an anti-climax).
No.. it’s also not about the once in a decade slide of Tendulkar or Jadeja’s MOM award or Sreesanth’s 2 wickets.

I am talking about the sixer, hit by Nehra, Ashish Nehra.

Yes, My friend, Yes.

An event which Nissim Nicholos Taleb would rightly call a ‘Black Swan’. An event whose probability equals the probability of seeing the Halley’s Comet thrice in one’s lifetime. An event which supersedes everyone’s expectation and wildest imaginations.

Even, Venkatpathy Raju’s fiver falls pale in front of this. These were the crucial 6 runs which made all the difference in the end.

When I saw this I couldn’t believe my eyes. I pinched myself, poked myself in the eye and even tried to jump up off the second floor to convince myself that I was still alive and it was not heaven, where every ones secret desire comes true.

Anyone who has watched this miracle, will be convinced of the powers of his majesty and of the fact that wishes of people like us and Nehra, don’t go unheard. It will come as a rude shock to all atheists. This incident gives us hope. It was like one of those scenes where the life of the protagonist changes (In more Bollywoodesque terms after ‘behen ka Rape’). I feel no shame in admitting that my life will never be the same again.

I will wake up each time believing that one day I will see Keira Knightley calling me for a cold bath in a tub. She will make one of those lustful inviting gestures, that make men weak in their knees, and I will jump in to the tub. She will tear away my clothes and then we will make wild animal …..err……So where were we?

Oh yeah, Nehra, Ashish Nehra.

Screw him.

My life has changed.

I am going to sleep. To wake up in a good mood :)

PS: If anyone of you is having an outburst of emotions about the Sachin's 200 then please feel free to drop your article on cricketwithoutballs@gmail.com. We will publish them on our blog with your reference.

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar

Did you ever wake up in the most frustrating mood of your life ? Did u feel like cursing your alarm the first thing in the morning ?

You curse your paste for tasting like fluoride as you brush your teeth. You do shit and curse the sambhar that you ate last night. On your way to office you curse the signal which turned red just as you crossed the zebra crossing. As you park your bike, you curse the adjacent bike, whose seats were graced by the warmth of feminine butt the previous night. As soon as you enter the office you start to curse the AC. You switch on your PC (only to realize that it will start when Krishna is reincarnated in another Yuga)and curse the antivirus system. Then you walk in for a meeting with the manager and he curses you. You come out, you curse him back. You curse God too. You even curse the IIT system.

But everything changes the moment you see Tendulkar hitting a century. Nothing in the world can beat that. It has such charisma that it can heal anything – be it the horrors of the Mumbai Attack or the recent Pune attack or even Mongia’s batting for India.

The roar you hear in stadium, the tightening of the fists as he proceeds from 94 to 100, the gasp when he misses a ball, the relief when he leaves a delivery outside the off stump, the quickening heart beats when the bowler makes a stifled appeal, the cheer for a single and the disappointment for the leg bye. Even multiple orgasms can't match those emotions.

A small observation:
A lot of guys feel this sudden urge to go to the loo when Sachin is batting in the 90s. Either I am over observant or it is probably because the TV is near my bathroom.

Brett "Karan" Lee making waves on the Indian scene

Mumbai, 26 September, 2014 : He is every girl's prince charming. He is tall, he is handsome, he is cool, he can dance, he can sing, he can make love, he can cry, he can make people laugh and most importantly he is single (yet again). Yes, we are talking about Bollywood's latest heartthrob, the new lover boy in the land of Kamasutra and plagiarized movies(and of remakes and sequels), Brett Lee.

8 movies since his debut in "Tere bin" (Without You ..)(2010) and 6 of them have sent the cash registers ringing. "Tere Bin" may not have been a success but our man certainly made a point. His next 10 films set the box office ablaze (excluding perhaps the dud "Agosh" (Rage) (2013) where he decided to go for an image makeover and try his hand at an action movie). He is Yash Chopra banners latest torch bearer. The fairy tale journey began in 2010 when, ridden with injuries, he rejected a 2 year extension contract with the Cricket Australia to sign for Yash Chopra's banners "Tere Bin" directed by Uday Chopra. It gelled perfectly with his primary commitment then – the IPL. A couple months a year he represented the Kings XI, while for the rest of the year he shot at exotic locations with the Who’s Who of the Indian paparazzi.

He had by then already made his presence felt in India, having been involved with a large number of commercial endorsements and having even sung in an Asha Bhosle album. Skeptics loathed his decision and wrote passionately about him putting up olive green notes ahead of the baggy green. They were right no doubt. Brett now makes thrice from movies, concerts and commercial endorsements than he did during his cricketing days. Initially pessimists rubbed him off arguing that an English speaking guy would never make it big in the tinsel town. But one year of special coaching classes in Hindi with Atal Bihari Vajpayee and hair dyed black did the trick. He is now more Hindi than the Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi himself. Having spent 5 years in India he has now even applied for an Indian citizenship; he said at a recent movie launch that he is more Indian by heart than he is Australian by birth. "Tere Bin" was followed by "Kabhi Kabhi hi Kuch Hota Hai" (Something Something Happens ..But Only Sometimes) (a sequel to the blockbuster Kuch Kuch Hota Hai(1998)), which firmly established him as the new lover boy displacing ShahRukh Khan. The next five years saw "Karan" (Karan is to Brett what Rahul was to ShahRukh, Vijay to Amitabh Bachchan and Rohit to Hrithik Roshan) consolidate his position as the Prince Charming of Bollywood with blockbuster hits like "You are My Sonia" (You are my Pretty Women)(2011), "Ey Mere Humsafar"(Oh.. My Soulmate) (2012) [a remake of "Qayamat se Qayamat tak"], "Kitni Baatein" (A lot to talk) (2012) and "Doorie" (Schisms) ((2013) ["INSPIRED" by the Hollywood romance "Sleepless in Seattle(1993)"]. His latest movie, "Kassam Se..." (Love Vows) is running to packed houses and advance bookings into the second week have already been made into his next movie "Kambakht Ishq" (Damn Love)which is scheduled to be released during the festive season of Diwali.

6 hits out of 8, a brand value close to 220 crores, torch bearer of the Karan Johar and Yash Chopra banners, through with 2 marriages and infinitely many alleged linkups (and another infinite kept under the wraps) he certainly is the biggest star of the industry today. And his most recent break up with Deepika Padukone, after dating each other for the past 1 year has a come as a breath of cool breeze to his lacs of female fan following. He may be the most loved character on screen but he has been deeply embroiled in controversy in real life. First there was his famous breakup with his first wife, Elizabeth even before the release of his first movie, his war of words with Saif Ali Khan over Kareena Kapoor who has paired opposite him in most of his movies, his clandestine meetings with Aishwarya Rai, his alleged linkups with the underworld and now his latest attempts to buy "Mannat" which has further mangled his equations with ShahRukh Khan. Both have not been on talking terms since ShahRukh was replaced by him in a Karan Johar movie two years back and Brett chose not to invite Shahrukh to his second marriage to his former boss Priety Zinta in December, 2012 (Which as history would have it ended up in a divorce within 4 months and signaled the end of his IPL career).

With Sanjay Dutt having been sentenced to 11 yrs of rigorous imprisonment in the TADA case(set to be released in 2019) rumours are abuzz that Vindhu Vinod Chopra is planning to tee off the "Munna Bhai" series again with Brett in the lead this time around. This might come as a welcome change for Brett himself for he has been regularly bashed up by the critics for playing the same candy floss role in all his movies up till now and not utilising his vast acting repertoire to the fullest extent. He may be the critic's latest whipping boy, but as he said in a recent interview "I act for the masses and not for the critics". And with Shahrukh Khan set to take a break from acting, to start of as a director and Farhan Akhtar going gaga over Brett's emoting abilities we might well see him in the coming DON movies and this might well add salt, spice and what not to his existing consanguinity with Shahrukh.

So Brett fans might well get to see a lot more of Brett Lee in the coming years and that too in diverse personifications, especially with his foray into Hollywood. The treadmill is abuzz with the fact that he has been signed by Danny Boyle to be part of the sequel to ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, which is set to release on Independence Day next year.

Sniffing from the Rough

It was such a wonderful day for cricket. It couldn’t have been better than this to start off this blog dedicated to cricket.

Rameez Raza
Headlines: Rameez Raza does it again for what he is famous for- “Calling ball-tampering unlawful and an offence is regrettable!” Great!! Isn’t it?
Then we might as well make betting in the domestic game legal too because it will attract crowd. Plus it will make the work of ICC to globalize cricket a lot easier by giving a huge boost to its popularity in non-cricketing nations like Mexico and Italy.
And since we are on the topic, we should make the retro-70s-hairstyle as the dress code for all the cricketers. Players will be named what Rameez Raza chooses to call them during commentary.
And it still amazes me what’s so intriguing about the smell of a cricket ball that Shahid Afridi likes. May be he should consult Md Asif for better things to sniff.

Paul Harris
I got my first hand experience to see the great Paul Harris perform in India. Seeing him in action, revived all the memories of ‘Dunston Checks In’. Harris was just like another ape when he scratched his head after throwing a ball in the rough so far outside the leg stump that even Amit Mishra had the time to completely turn around towatds its leg side and glance it for single. Amit Mishra after getting the closest shot to a paddle sweep (closest that he will ever get in his entire lifetime) was so overtaken with joy that he thanked Paul Harris personally at the end of the days play.
He said – “I always dreamt of playing that shot but you see, every bowler in his quest to dismiss the tailender forces the batsman to play at the ball. But my dear friend, in spite of the close in field you took the path less travelled, just like in the movie when Dunston takes the less travelled laundry rope, and bowled it so far outside the leg stump that even AB lost any hope he had to keep it.“
It is also been reported that Boucher was furious with Harris as his on-to-the-rough balls were so far outside the leg stump that keeping to those balls caused his back sprain.

Zaheer Khan
In India, people in the rural heart lands play without adequate cricketing gears. So, they develop their own cricketing technique when they have to play with a leather ball. Batting without pads, the batsmen is used to take a stance outside the leg stump. Actually, almost a foot outside the leg stump. Not only that, each time the batsman gears up to face the bowler, he makes sure that his legs were nowhere near the line of the ball. All this was to ensure that he returned home without limping.
And I am proud that Zaheer Khan has upheld that tradition inspite of thigh guards, shin pads and batting pads. Guess, he just wanted to prove a fellow fast bowler, Dale Steyn, right who said – “A 150 or 145km yorker is absolutely no different whether you bowl it here in Nagpur, or Chennai, Johannesburg, Perth.”

Note: Please be generous with your comments and suggestion. In case if you have any ideas or post or any grudge against anyone, feel free to drop in them in the comments section with your name and mail id. Or you can mail us at: cricketwithoutballs@gmail.com

Extra Innings

We are bunch of cricket maniacs, more of a two-some pair, born and brought up by cricket fanatics and befriended by cricket maniacs throughout life and belong to a country which has donated precious talents like Venkatpaty Raju, Ashish Nehra, Nayan Mongia and Ajit Agarkar to the gentleman’s game.

We talk about Sex (Yes.. we do talk about it), Fashion (rather... Whatever MS Dhoni thinks is fashion), Drugs (err …. Performance Enhancing Aids) and Entertainment: by entertainment we mean – the batting abilities of the Indian lower order batsmen, the acting abilities of Harman Baweja and the PCB. We worship Sachin. Despite that our blog will be clearly biased towards Shahid Afridi, Paul Lee Harris and Ashish Nehra. We love to discuss Avataar, Rameez Raja and Lalit Modi too; given the constraints that Laxman Sivaramakrishnan and Shilpa Shetty leave enough room for them.

We love numbers especially those that represent Chris Martin’s batting record or Navjot Singh Sidhu’s fielding records. So, do not be surprised if our statistics defy every rule that Euclid or Pythagoras created.

Caution (!!!) –
The only secrets that we reveal are ‘Victoria’s Secrets’ and all predictions that we make have already been made by Baba Ram Charan Bhojpuri in the Dwapar yuga.

We don’t believe in copyright, which should be evident from the fact that we have shamelessly ripped off the name of the blog from here.

We are ardent believers in the power of ‘Open Source Revolution’ (even though till yesterday we assumed that Ubuntu was the name of Nina Mercedes’ pet penguin) and we invite entries from anyone out there who wants to be another Sreesanth with the desire to display his booty-writing-skills.
Just reach us at cricketwithoutballs@gmail.com.

Only condition: Nothing against Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar and Kamran Akmal.