Thursday, July 8, 2010

Kick it up a notch

Cricketers who wouldn't be half-bad at football

Kevin Pietersen
Trophy wife? Check.

Shahid Afridi
Footballers need to be light and nimble on their feet. Shahid Afridi is light and nimble on his feet. You should have seen him back in 2005, doing the fandango all over the Faisalabad pitch, with spikes on.

Colin Cowdrey and Peter May
For their dexterous and skilful use of their legs to play the cricket ball during their epic stand of 411 against West Indies in 1957.

MS Dhoni
He used to be a goalie, you know.

Ross Taylor
He hates going off side, you know.

Every fast bowler in the world
Why use your hands when your feet will do? The likes of Munaf Patel have been endorsing this fine philosophy for years on the boundary, sticking a boot out at the ball as it hurries by - with mixed results, but of course it's the thought that counts.

For the requisite drama, breast-beating and on-field crying, general acting ability, and full-on lunacy that make footie the world's greatest game, you need cricket's greatest showman bar none.

James Anderson
If you think cricket's short of sensitive, well-coiffed, immaculately moisturised metrosexuals like David Beckham, you've got another think coming.

Yuvraj Singh
With Yuvi in the side you know the gratuitous-diving department is in good hands. Oh wait, that was three years ago.

Kamran Akmal
Without a good goalkeeper, a football side is nothing.

Ricky Ponting
What do you mean spitting is not close enough to dribbling?

Ashish Nehra
Cricketers with experience of having their shirts tugged would naturally be an asset in football. Not only did our Nehra allegedly recently get his shirt pulled in the course of an alleged brawl in an alleged restaurant in the West Indies, he got it pulled so forcefully, it tore.

Michael Holding
Back in 1979, Mikey displayed a fetching ability to kick, as the photograph above will testify, and to look graceful and balletic while doing it.

Brian Close
Speaking of Holding, how can one forget Closey? Shoulders, chest, head - he used them all to play the cricket ball.

Andrew Flintoff and Sourav Ganguly
What does cricket need to make it more like football? A display of manboobs at the end of games, of course.

Chris Lewis
Cocaine? Lewis was caught with enough to keep Diego Maradona happy for a year of Sundays, back in the day.

Andrew Symonds
He has a way with a tackle, in more ways than one.

Mitchell Johnson
Johnson gently applied his head to Scott Styris' helmet grille during a game in New Zealand last year. However, lest Zinedine Zidane fans get all misty-eyed, it was not, repeat not, a head-butt. "The only thing I'm quite annoyed about is that it has been classed as a head-butt," Mitch declared. "I'm not that silly. I'm not going to head-butt someone who has a helmet on."



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