Kick it up a notch

Cricketers who wouldn't be half-bad at football

Kevin Pietersen
Trophy wife? Check.

Shahid Afridi
Footballers need to be light and nimble on their feet. Shahid Afridi is light and nimble on his feet. You should have seen him back in 2005, doing the fandango all over the Faisalabad pitch, with spikes on.

Colin Cowdrey and Peter May
For their dexterous and skilful use of their legs to play the cricket ball during their epic stand of 411 against West Indies in 1957.

MS Dhoni
He used to be a goalie, you know.

Ross Taylor
He hates going off side, you know.

Every fast bowler in the world
Why use your hands when your feet will do? The likes of Munaf Patel have been endorsing this fine philosophy for years on the boundary, sticking a boot out at the ball as it hurries by - with mixed results, but of course it's the thought that counts.

Sreesanth
For the requisite drama, breast-beating and on-field crying, general acting ability, and full-on lunacy that make footie the world's greatest game, you need cricket's greatest showman bar none.

James Anderson
If you think cricket's short of sensitive, well-coiffed, immaculately moisturised metrosexuals like David Beckham, you've got another think coming.

Yuvraj Singh
With Yuvi in the side you know the gratuitous-diving department is in good hands. Oh wait, that was three years ago.

Kamran Akmal
Without a good goalkeeper, a football side is nothing.

Ricky Ponting
What do you mean spitting is not close enough to dribbling?

Ashish Nehra
Cricketers with experience of having their shirts tugged would naturally be an asset in football. Not only did our Nehra allegedly recently get his shirt pulled in the course of an alleged brawl in an alleged restaurant in the West Indies, he got it pulled so forcefully, it tore.

Michael Holding
Back in 1979, Mikey displayed a fetching ability to kick, as the photograph above will testify, and to look graceful and balletic while doing it.

Brian Close
Speaking of Holding, how can one forget Closey? Shoulders, chest, head - he used them all to play the cricket ball.

Andrew Flintoff and Sourav Ganguly
What does cricket need to make it more like football? A display of manboobs at the end of games, of course.

Chris Lewis
Cocaine? Lewis was caught with enough to keep Diego Maradona happy for a year of Sundays, back in the day.

Andrew Symonds
He has a way with a tackle, in more ways than one.

Mitchell Johnson
Johnson gently applied his head to Scott Styris' helmet grille during a game in New Zealand last year. However, lest Zinedine Zidane fans get all misty-eyed, it was not, repeat not, a head-butt. "The only thing I'm quite annoyed about is that it has been classed as a head-butt," Mitch declared. "I'm not that silly. I'm not going to head-butt someone who has a helmet on."

Courtesy: http://www.cricinfo.com/page2/content/story/463188.html

Cut That out

In order to preserve his ailing body and ensure he maintains himself for the long haul, Prince Brendon McCullum has given up wicketkeeping. It is a brave move for someone with a Test batting average of 34, but the Prince has never lacked confidence. If this works there could be a spate of players doing the same thing. Because players are too divergent with their energies in this day and age, they need to focus their chakras and their body-mind interface to get the personal momentum you need to be a winner. Here are a few who could shed some of their workload in order to prolong or improve their careers.

Chris Gayle
Being cool
You hear it all the time, the man is effortlessly cool. Nonsense. I don't care who it is - Johnny Cash included - there is effort in being cool. How much effort? Well, at least 10% of his life must go towards being cool, if not more. He could start by giving up the designer sunnies, get a short back-and-sides haircut and stop looking like nothing is bothering him. With that extra 10% he could run between the wickets like Mike Hussey, and you don't need to be cool to be Mike Hussey.

Graeme Swann
Twitter
Any cricket fans on the social-networking micro-blogging platform know how important Swann is to it. Sehwag - prophet of Sehwagology that he is - is rather boring, Michael Clarke's tweets have never reached the heady heights of dull, and pictures of Sulieman Benn on a motorcycle are enjoyable, but not fulfilling. Swann obviously puts time and effort into his tweeting. Coming up with witty one-liners and new ways to abuse Tim Bresnan. While this is great for us, if he was to cut Twitter out of his life, he could learn how to play short-pitched bowling and become a real allrounder.

Lasith Malinga
Kissing the ball
It seems like such a small thing, but Malinga's ball-kissing must be taking so much out of his game. You could say it is the one reason he is no longer a Test bowler. Think of all the disgusting things on that ball, Murali's sweat, other bowlers' spit, possible bird droppings and the manure they use to fertilise grass. All this must eat away at the mental side of Malinga's game. In the shorter formats this might not be a problem, but in a Test match he might have to do this over 150 times a day: 150 times a day he is kissing a ball that just got rubbed all over Dilshan's crotch. That is too much for any man.

Sulieman Benn
Annoying everyone
No one can annoy like Benn. Batsmen, umpires and his own captain are the usual subjects. In the history of cricket there have been few players who can get under the skin of players on both sides so brilliantly. But this is a skill. Skills need time, patience and hard work. While being the annoying spinner can work - Paul Harris has made a career from it - Benn can actually bowl. If he spent all the time he usually uses on annoying people on bowling, wow, the man could be a cult hero spin-bowling god, the Manute Bol of finger spin. And he wouldn't get sent off the field by his captain as much.

Daniel Vettori
Coaching, selecting, running New Zealand, writing press releases, peeling oranges and everything else
For some the term "allrounder" means that there are two reasons why their country could pick them. For Dan Vettori it means he does absolutely everything his country needs of him. It is a good thing New Zealand isn't in a war, as Dan would be feeding the soldiers, driving the tanks and sorting out strategy. If Dan gave up just 12 of his out-of-cricket tasks, he could be an even better "allrounder" than he is now. Then he could probably play cricket until he is 43.

AB de Villiers
Guitar-based pop
I'm sure you don't need to be reminded of the sweet pop stylings of AB's song "Show Them Who You Are". It is on your mobile music apparatus on constant repeat. As obviously talented as AB must be, making the perfect tune still takes time away from cricket. Imagine how great a batsman he could be if he just put down the guitar. With his hands now free, he could spend time with them in keeping gloves - you know, just in case.

Other players who could give up things to improve their careers: Shahid Afridi could give up his day job as a comedian. Mitchell Johnson could give up his mother. Ryan Sidebottom could give up being stroppy. And even Ravi Shastri could give up saying the phrase "tracer bullet".

Note: the Article is written byJarrod Kimber, the mind responsible for cricketwithballs.com, is an Australian writer based in London. His new book is now on sale

Intikhab Alam declares the Pakistan Cricket Team is Mentally Retarded and insults all those with mental handicaps

It is a big claim. Some accuse them of being shit, some of being match fixers, some of being shit match fixers, but mentally retarded, wow.

Let us look at Mental Retardation with some help from Wikipedia:

Delays in oral language development

Well Mohammad Asif called Shane Watson a “bloody white”. If you have been playing cricket for this many years and “bloody white” is the best insult you can give to Shane Watson I would say you have a delay in Oral devolpment.

Deficits in memory skills

Shoaib Malik seemed to forget he was married. I’m married, and I remember it. So I would say his memory is not really that skilful.

Difficulty learning social rules

Don’t bite the ball. Don’t take opiates through an airport. Don’t fuck unclean women with Genital warts. Don’t leave a game of cricket mid way through. Don’t dance on a good length. Don’t match fix. Don’t match fix in Essex. Are these all social rules, probably.

Difficulty with problem solving skills

When bowling to Mike Hussey Pakistan either move the field out so he can put on a test winning partnership, or bowl length balls from spinners to see how far he can hit them. If Michael Hussey is a problem, Pakistan have not solved it.

Delays in the development of adaptive behaviors such as self-help or self-care skills

Kamran Akmal’s keeping in Sydney shows that he has no self care or self help skills. If he was a small child a parent would have stepped in to help.

Lack of social inhibitors

I think this has been covered.

An Intelligence Quotient score under 70

Moyo’s captaincy?

According to Wiki Mental Retardation has various classes.

Class	IQ
Profound mental retardation	Below 20
Severe mental retardation	20–34
Moderate mental retardation	35–49
Mild mental retardation	50–69
Borderline intellectual functioning	70–84

Alam never stated which exact class the Pakistani players are in.

Wiki goes on to say, “there is no “cure” for an established disability, though with appropriate support and teaching, most individuals can learn to do many things.”

I’ve known semi functional Mentally Retarded people before, it is unfair to give Pakistan that label, they are hardly functional.

Note: The article is written by Jarrod Kimber, the mind responsible for cricketwithballs.com, is an Australian writer based in London. His new book is now on sale

Top 5 cricketing moments of Indian Test Cricket : Batting (2)

I am 23. I belong to a generation who started watching cricket around world cup 1996. The first article was I read was about how the WC 1996 was marked by the three greatest batsmen of the decade – Sachin Tendulkar, Mark Waugh and Brian Lara; Spin Bowling was dominated by the trio of Anil Kumble, Mushtaq Ahmed and Shane Warne. All the memories for cricket start from there for me. Me and bunch of the greatest cricket fans, cricket has ever seen has come up with the top moments of Indian cricket. This is first in the series: Top 5 moments of Indian Test cricket: batting. We have taken only the matches after 1996 into consideration because we haven’t watched anything of cricket before 96. We might have missed, we might be wrong but this is what we think. Enjoy guys. This is second in the series.

Top 5 cricketing moments of Indian Test Cricket : Batting

2. Rahul Dravid 233 and 72* v/s Australia, Adelaide, December, 2003

No team in the world can think of loosing a test match after scoring 556 in first inning, Australia had done the same.

Having watched helplessly as Australia piled up 400 for 5 on the opening day, going on to reach a daunting first-innings total of 556, in which Ricky Ponting made a brilliant 242, India's captain, Ganguly, was himself a casualty - run out for two - as the tourists' reply wobbled precariously at 85 for 4.
But India turned the match around with a 303-run partnership between their vice-captain, Dravid (233), and VVS Laxman (148),

Bichel struck three vital blows. He bowled straight to a canny, defensive field set by Waugh and India slumped from 66 without loss to 85 for four when Ganguly was run out. Laxman joined Dravid. It took Australia 94 overs to separate them. It was not quite Kolkata; there, they had added 376 for the fifth wicket, here it was a mere 303.

This time, it was Dravid's turn to score the double-hundred. He simply played everything on its merits, leaving every ball that carried the threat of an edge alone, while taking advantage of every scoring opportunity. After he played himself in, his cover driving was sublime, and the only time he was in danger of getting out was when he top-edged a hook off Gillespie. But it sailed over backward square leg and brought up his hundred

India did not look back and scored 523 in reply of Australia’s first inning with the help of Dravid and Laxman. Dravid was again rock solid in his 233 with 23 fours and one six. Australia collapsed in their second inning to 196 and India were given a target of 232.

The final day was as engrossing as any you could wish to see. Each time India appeared to be cruising, Australia would fight back. Every batsman got a start, but only Dravid stayed on, combining limpet-like adhesion with unflappable temperament. With the pressure on, it was Australia that cracked. Laxman's breezy 32 sealed it, but it was fitting that the last act belonged to Dravid, who had done a Waugh in the great man's final series.

When MacGill pitched one short and wide of off stump, Rahul Dravid gave himself room and cut hard. As it sped across the outfield towards the fence in front of the George Giffen stand, he let out a yell of delight. As the team poured on to the field to celebrate coming back to win after conceding 400 for 5 on the opening day, Steve Waugh jogged across to pick up the ball. Once he did, he presented it to Dravid, whose 72 not out had glued together a run chase that was anything but straightforward.

Less than three years after decimating Australian hopes with a 376-run stand at Eden Gardens, Dravid and VVS Laxman had added 303, albeit at a more sedate pace. The circumstances when they came together had been similarly dire, with India reeling at 85 for 4 after the openers had cruised to 66.

Dravid once again stood rock solid to get India clinch the match. He was declared the “Man of the match” and not to forget he was also the “Man of the series”. Everybody sees the architectural beauty but no one thinks about the foundation which gives the strength to the building.

Foundation is the very reason for the building to be in standing position on the first place. Dravid is the foundation of the Team. It was one of those inning in which he was not the man behind the scene. He was the protagonist of this victory. A rare occasion when everybody noticed him. But I guess it doesn’t matter to him. He likes to play the game for the sheer love of it. How many do you think are left now??

Top 5 cricketing moments of Indian Test Cricket : Batting (1)

I am 23. I belong to a generation who started watching cricket around world cup 1996. The first article was I read was about how the WC 1996 was marked by the three greatest batsmen of the decade – Sachin Tendulkar, Mark Waugh and Brian Lara; Spin Bowling was dominated by the trio of Anil Kumble, Mushtaq Ahmed and Shane Warne. All the memories for cricket start from there for me. Me and bunch of the greatest cricket fans, cricket has ever seen has come up with the top moments of Indian cricket. This is first in the series: Top 5 moments of Indian Test cricket: batting. We have taken only the matches after 1996 into consideration because we haven’t watched anything of cricket before 96. We might have missed, we might be wrong but this is what we think. Enjoy guys

Top 5 cricketing moments of Indian Test Cricket : Batting

1. Sachin Tendulkar 136 v/s Pakistan, Chennai, 31 January 1999

Every once in a while, there are moments in sport that transcend the action on the field and yet help establish the very essence of sport by carrying it beyond the confines of nationalism, and indeed victory and defeat. By all standards the first Test of the 1998-99 series between India and Pakistan was a similar example.

It see-sawed for four days: bowled out for 238 on the first day, Pakistan struck back, restricting India to 254. Then Shahid Afridi threatened to take the match beyond India's pale with a violent 141 before Venkatesh Prasad engineered the most sensational of collapses, which sunk Pakistan from 275 for 4 to 286 all out. But at 82 for 5 before lunch on the fourth day, it all seemed over for India - barring Sachin Tendulkar, of course.

Sachin backed himself up against his longtime nemesis Waqar & Wasim. Sachin's determination was more fierce than Chennai's heat. The wicket turned out to be a two-paced one. When the fast bowlers bowled it was reverse swinging and when the spinners bowled the ball turned square.

So Wasim pressed on Saqlain for the whole day. There were just two fielders on the offside a backward point and a mid off. Saqlain started bowling a teasing line around the off stump. All throughout the day Saqlain was testing Sachin's patience and Sachin showed Herculean patience and runs started flowing slowly but surely, as time is not a problem here. Sachin never batted his eyelid all day and it was like He was meditating on the field.. Ganguly was given a bad decision and in walked Nayan Mongia.

Tendulkar finds an able ally in Nayan Mongia, and rebuilds the innings in a painstaking, un-Tendulkar like manner. After helping add 136 for the sixth wicket, Mongia departs to an ungainly pull, and Tendulkar’s back is also giving way. Tendulkar shifts up a gear or two, and starts dealing only in boundaries

But one error of judgment and it’s all over. Saqlain Mushtaq defeats his intended lofted on-drive with a magical ball that drifts the other way, catches the outer part of Tendulkar’s bat and balloons up to mid-off. The tail disgrace themselves, and India fall short by a gut-wrenching 13 runs.
Later Moin revealed in the press conference that he has never seen shots like that in his career before. This is what every true fan of Cricket wants to see. An even battle between bat & ball .Sometimes I used to wonder why life is so cruel to me and this was the first time I thought like that. If anyone wants to know what is meant by an unfinished classic, this is it. The whole innings was so beautifully conceived and played.

In India, 1 billion people watched the match and 1 billion hearts were crushed that day. Nobody can forget Sachin's expressions when he received the MOM award, which counted nothing for him. Sachin has scored 47 centuries till date. There are infinite numbers in this universe. But you mention Sachin or 136, a true Indian is bound to remember that composure, that face, that Sachin, that god who failed and yet won!!!

Series Updates - May'10

I have been off from the general cricket viewing-following-discussing scenario due to some personal commitments but now that I am done, thought I’ll enlighten you with what’s happening around the world.

India-Zimbabwe-Sri Lanka series:
I just realized that this series is also going somewhere, thanks to the over-hyped portrayal of the Indian teams performance in the TOI. Seriously ! Who on earth is following this series ? Apart from Dinda’s fans of course! I checked the scores and saw Rohit Sharma doing things, which he does best. Scoring in who-gives-a–shit matches or in lost cause scenarios. Dinesh Karthik is again repeating the same things - failing against teams that would not even give a serious fight to his club team. I have never been a huge fan of Murali Vijay. Maybe the way he celebrated the catch of a dehydrated and Injured Sachin in IPL has got him to the nadir of likings in my book so I don’t care how much he scores. The sole interesting aspect is to see Virat Kohli and Rohit fighting for a spot in a full-fledged Indian team. I have lost my faith in Rohit Sharma for now so my vote is still with Virat Kohli.

And yeah… I did observe one thing. Rohit might just make it through to the Indian team if there’s a “Who’s got a bigger paunch?” competition

WI-SA series:
Isn’t it appropriate to name the series as the Hashim series ? More than hard work and perseverance, Hashim Amla owes a big thank you to the Indian cricket team. The Indian team has made the careers of lot of players sky dive (in much the same way that Mayawati has made to the careers of her followers) , including but not limited to the likes of Mathew Hayden, Jacques Kallis, Marvan Attapattu and the latest to join the list is Amla. The last Indian tour has given a fresh breath to his ODI career.

But I have always believed WI to be the number 2 entertainer after Sreesanth. There are so many emotions, smiles and celebrations displayed on the field that you fill so attached to them. And don’t forget the indiscipline and strikes on and off the field. I just love WI and thy lived up to my expectations when the dictator Gayle arrogantly ordered Benn off the field for refusing to run in circles around the stump, do a summer sault and then bowl a bouncer at 50 mph. Or did he ask hi to bowl over the wicket?

But this series has been quite predictable in terms of talents explored. AB for Africa and Bravo of WI have been the only scorers for respective teams. I wish the series wasn’t so one-sided.

Bangladesh-England Series:
I was following the series keenly till Tamim Iqbal tried to talk like a typical Pakistan commentator. Tamim Iqbal, after the century against England, his 2nd overall in his career: “I can't compete with Sachin Tendulkar in one day, after getting one century. I'll need to work very, very hard to get close to what he has achieved."
I say - "Mate, You need much more than hard work. You have to take a rebirth." ( And probably the big bang to happen again !)

PS: I saw this amazing link on Cricinfo :
http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/460856.html

Lagaan - A Match Report

The match started on a bright sunny morning and a clear blue sky, without a hint of rain or clouds, in the middle of monsoons, which was actually the reason for the match to be staged in the 1st place. The atmosphere was delightful with the entire province turning up for the match to cheer the home team. Their uniformly white attire which matched the visitors' colors, may have sent a wrong message about their loyalties towards the visitors. The different stands of service provided by the ground staff was appalling as the general public was not allowed placards, food items or even water bottles, while the visitors' guests could comfortably smoke a cigar in the pavilion. So much for atithi devo bhava.

Capt. Russell of England won the toss and adhering to conventional wisdom, elected to bat first. The Indian captain, taking a leaf out of the IPL, opted to open with a spinner, in a Test Match. No prizes for guessing who was sent on a leather chase. Later in the day, the home team unleashed an unconventional bowler who rotated his arm 10 times before bowling. Doubt if his shoulder can withstand the wear and tear for more than 2 years in the international circuit. In spite of the dedication displayed by the home team, England took the honours for the day.

Late at night, the Indian team were spotted visiting the temple with their supporters seeking a divine intervention which came a while later. It was reported that one of the team members, who was in love with the Indian captain's arm-candy was accused of conspiring with the opposition captain and fixing the match result. While links with bookies are being investigated, he was allowed to continue in the match as the hearing was pending with ICC.

Day 2 belonged to India as they cleaned up the tail easily as Kachra found some help from the track and managed a hat-trick, eliciting fears of the track cracking on the final day. This was, however a false alarm as the track behaved true and accommodated, supported and even cheered cross-batted shots from the whole Indian batting line-up. Shots, which wouldn't last an over outside the subcontinent and their inadequate technique was exploited by the mean English pacer with a Merv Hughes beard when he hit Lakha on the head with a vicious bouncer.

Although India scored at a healthy rate, the fall of wickets at regular intervals meant the English were always ahead. It took an injured Ismail, a no-ball in the final delivery and a last ball DLF Maximum to see India home. In a typical IPL fashion, the captain received a Zintaesque hug from the main cheerleader as supporters cheered around him and the rain gods finally let go after holding their bladder for 3 days.

This was a match that will be remembered through ages for various reasons; the underdogs beat the favorites on their debut, India held their nerve in crunch situations, the last-ball finish, and above all, for the big prize money worth 3 years of Lagaan.


Post Match, speculations were rife regarding the nationality of the visitors. While their on-field sledging suggested Aussie roots, their failure to contain Bhuvan and remove Kachra in the last over left no doubt over their SA origin, although they kept swearing their loyalty to the Queen. Turns out that ECB hiring Saffers is a century old concept after all.

A special mention should be made of the sole commentator who stuck to his job of announcing the score without sounding foolish, a welcome relief after the crass Danny Morrison we witnessed during the IPL.

IPL Diaries IV

The famous ones from the legendary commentary section of IPL 3 - Manoranjan ka Baap.

•“We'll aim at getting a good start, not get all out, put a good total on board and then defend it" - Sanga's strategy after being asked to bat first.
•"One team will go home happy, the other will go home unhappy" - Shastri, before a match
•“The last shot was from Yuvraj. He came on strike after the last single." - Shastri again
•"God is prayed today more than ever, at this stadium here in Chennai" - Shastri baba!
•"Ishant to Tendulkar, who has played cricket for longer than Ishant has lived" - cricinfo commentator inspired by Bhogle
•"sorry Dwayne, no Bravo there"
•"Ishant is gonna go up to Sachin and ask, "What is it about me, that makes you go like this" - Harsha
•"In IPL you want to be disciplined and not naughty if you want to win the KF fairplay award
•"Of course Chennai will win. We got the Mongoose, and oh, also Hayden!!!" - Srikkant
•"Sirf India nahin, poora desh inka fan hai" - Angad Bedi
•"You put up a good total ony if all departments (bowling and fielding???) click" - Shilpa Shetty
•"Next match will feature an engrossing contest between...... SRK and Preity Zinta"
•"Shikhar Dhawan is the other half of the partnership" - Harsha Bhogle
•"DC have a bull in their logo but they didn't play like one today!!!

( Courtesy: Ashtung, Proxy and me)

Disguise

Missing IPL a blessing in disguise - Shahid Afridi

Shahid Afridi, the captain of Pakistan's squad for the World Twenty20, believes that not being selected to play in the IPL is a "blessing in disguise" for his players. "No I don't have any regrets at all. In a way it is a blessing in disguise for all our players that we are not playing in the IPL before the World Cup," Afridi told PTI.

So Shahid Afridi doesn’t have regrets. That’s really good. But dear Shahid did you have any regrets when you were found biting the ball like a chimpanzee? Oh I guess you had some but since it’s a common practice among your species so you don’t mind being traditional on field. What a true gentleman. Always keeps his feet on the ground. I wish the new generation can be like you: Modern, yet close to their roots.

"Given the problems that have besieged Pakistan cricket in recent months it is good that we have got time to work together as a team in the World Cup training camp, it has allowed us to settle down and focus on the World Twenty20," Afridi said.

Hmmm so you said something like work together. Am I right?? When was the last time when the entire Pakistan team worked together except while sacking their captain from the team? Oh yea of course Praying is another thing which the complete Pakistani team does together but since you are traditional so it’s quite obvious. But it’s really good that you guys got the time to settle down. You have been on quite a losing spree for a long time. You need a break or punishment as PCB imposed.

Pakistan's cricketers were unanimously cold-shouldered by IPL franchises despite being put up for auction before the current season of the tournament. This was the second successive year that Pakistan players missed out on the IPL, after being left out of the 2009 edition due to political tensions between the two countries. On that occasion, Pakistan went on to win the World Twenty20 tournament that followed.

And you blame India for all your miseries.

The Pakistan squad is undergoing rigorous training in Lahore in a bid to improve fielding and general fitness before the World Twenty20, and Afridi said it did not give his players time to follow the IPL. "We really are not following the IPL closely. We don't know who is playing or who is not playing because the purpose of holding this training camp has been to gel the players and allow them to prepare as a team for the World Twenty20," he said.

Now that’s what we call focus. Some morons will say watching some of the greatest players like Shane, Adam and Anil for their last time is incomparable but how does it can even stand in front of watching the veteran Legend Misbah-ul-Haq getting himself out in the most bizarre fashion possible. Right?? Or watching Umar Gul snuff it up again over looking out for your competitors' strengths and weaknesses so vividly on display. Perfectly understandable since that would amount to cheating as your team's skill-set will remain a mystery while exposing others and that is just too cunning even for the whole team's IQ put together.

And it’s very obvious since you don’t even know who are going to captain your own team then how can it be expected of you to know who is the fourth foreign player for RR.

Being the captain and most senior member in the team, Afridi admitted he had to shoulder extra responsibility. "[If we win] I would definitely feel that I have achieved the biggest landmark of my career, I want the team to do well in the World Cup. It is a big ambition for me and I know as a senior player I will have to show the way in every department of the game," he said.

Extra responsibility?? Definitely!! Now apart from bowling, batting and fielding you will have the added stress of getting it right even while taking a bite of the cherry. The captaincy of a Pakistani team is such a tough job but I am glad PCB has decided to take the advice of captain in the team selection from next year. That is great news for you.I mean not for you but for the captain following you. I guess that’s the average tenure for the Pakistan’s team captain – 1 tour. Right?

The World Twenty20 is scheduled to begin from April 30 with Pakistan slated to play Bangladesh and Australia in the league phase, on May 1st and 2nd respectively

BTW It will be interesting to see Shahid’s stance on next IPL. I don’t want to imagine because I know what will happen.

Did anybody say – “ thook ke chatna” or “ Swallowing-his-own-spit”

A Letter to Ramiz Raja

Dear Ramiz,

For years I have tolerated your ubiquitous presence at any post-match presentation ceremony or in the commentary box. I have cringed at your 80s hair-style, wondering if you actually realised that the hairdo, as well as you, were way past your popularity peak. While your command over the Queen's language made me doubt your nationality, the on-the-brink-of-crying voice during Pakistan's defeats confirmed it.

Even as a kid, your post match interviews either made me belch or laugh, depending upon the match's outcome and my mood. You however, managed to keep them senseless and directionless with a bloody minded persistence. And every time you uttered the word 'tremendous' more than thrice in a minute, I swore to God to torture you to a recording of that single word, played over and over again, until that was the only word you could speak. But the next second I used to remind myself that that would be redundant. And just when our relationship had hit rock bottom, you went ahead and started digging the bottom by doing this.

But isn't life funny? You ask why. Because I miss you. I miss your directionless remarks because they were at least cricket. I miss you because of the new presentation team in IPL. True, you sucked at it, but you sucked at it with the authority. Albeit, the authority of an ordinary and somewhat experienced ex-cricketer, but some authority nevertheless. Unlike the bunch of nincompoops who don't have any knowledge either of cricket and (hopefully) of what they are saying. Well, if they did really know what they were saying and still said it, they should be sent on a political and media exile to the US for being so dumb.

True, you are biased against India and are miserable when India wins. But here, any time winning would be Indian so you will always be miserable, unlike the partial Sunny who roots shamelessly for MI. To be honest, I'd enjoy that more than Sunny going hero-worshipping over a Sachin single. Between you and me, I also hate Sunny getting all poetic about the moon when showing off his GK on MRF and it's horrible offspring, the blimp.

To put things in perspective, if you were to be part of IPL, I doubt if I'd feel like breaking the TV any less than I do now. But at least I'll not feel ashamed of my fellow countrymen and feel like migrating to Bangladesh every time I wake up in the morning and will be able to blame it on Pakistan. Hence, dear Ramiz, please write a letter, or e-mail, or tweet, or court summon, to Mr. Modi, his assistant or his peon, depending upon your approach inside his office and offer yourself as Pakistan's gift to Indian cricket, in lieu of Sania Mirza. I am sure he will comply

(Writer is insanely passionate about Sachin, RR and anything related or starting with word 'BIO'. In his last 1.5 year stint he has been bumped from 11 Job interviews, 2 Management college admission interviews, started and shut down a start-up in a week, worked in a company, handled the parental business and again went back to work in some other company. He blogs at : ashtung where he enlighten the world with his experience of life. To reach the writer mail on to : ashutoshbihani@gmail.com)