Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Series Updates - May'10
India-Zimbabwe-Sri Lanka series:
I just realized that this series is also going somewhere, thanks to the over-hyped portrayal of the Indian teams performance in the TOI. Seriously ! Who on earth is following this series ? Apart from Dinda’s fans of course! I checked the scores and saw Rohit Sharma doing things, which he does best. Scoring in who-gives-a–shit matches or in lost cause scenarios. Dinesh Karthik is again repeating the same things - failing against teams that would not even give a serious fight to his club team. I have never been a huge fan of Murali Vijay. Maybe the way he celebrated the catch of a dehydrated and Injured Sachin in IPL has got him to the nadir of likings in my book so I don’t care how much he scores. The sole interesting aspect is to see Virat Kohli and Rohit fighting for a spot in a full-fledged Indian team. I have lost my faith in Rohit Sharma for now so my vote is still with Virat Kohli.
And yeah… I did observe one thing. Rohit might just make it through to the Indian team if there’s a “Who’s got a bigger paunch?” competition
WI-SA series:
Isn’t it appropriate to name the series as the Hashim series ? More than hard work and perseverance, Hashim Amla owes a big thank you to the Indian cricket team. The Indian team has made the careers of lot of players sky dive (in much the same way that Mayawati has made to the careers of her followers) , including but not limited to the likes of Mathew Hayden, Jacques Kallis, Marvan Attapattu and the latest to join the list is Amla. The last Indian tour has given a fresh breath to his ODI career.
But I have always believed WI to be the number 2 entertainer after Sreesanth. There are so many emotions, smiles and celebrations displayed on the field that you fill so attached to them. And don’t forget the indiscipline and strikes on and off the field. I just love WI and thy lived up to my expectations when the dictator Gayle arrogantly ordered Benn off the field for refusing to run in circles around the stump, do a summer sault and then bowl a bouncer at 50 mph. Or did he ask hi to bowl over the wicket?
But this series has been quite predictable in terms of talents explored. AB for Africa and Bravo of WI have been the only scorers for respective teams. I wish the series wasn’t so one-sided.
Bangladesh-England Series:
I was following the series keenly till Tamim Iqbal tried to talk like a typical Pakistan commentator. Tamim Iqbal, after the century against England, his 2nd overall in his career: “I can't compete with Sachin Tendulkar in one day, after getting one century. I'll need to work very, very hard to get close to what he has achieved."
I say - "Mate, You need much more than hard work. You have to take a rebirth." ( And probably the big bang to happen again !)
PS: I saw this amazing link on Cricinfo :
http://www.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/460856.html
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Lagaan - A Match Report
Capt. Russell of England won the toss and adhering to conventional wisdom, elected to bat first. The Indian captain, taking a leaf out of the IPL, opted to open with a spinner, in a Test Match. No prizes for guessing who was sent on a leather chase. Later in the day, the home team unleashed an unconventional bowler who rotated his arm 10 times before bowling. Doubt if his shoulder can withstand the wear and tear for more than 2 years in the international circuit. In spite of the dedication displayed by the home team, England took the honours for the day.
Late at night, the Indian team were spotted visiting the temple with their supporters seeking a divine intervention which came a while later. It was reported that one of the team members, who was in love with the Indian captain's arm-candy was accused of conspiring with the opposition captain and fixing the match result. While links with bookies are being investigated, he was allowed to continue in the match as the hearing was pending with ICC.
Day 2 belonged to India as they cleaned up the tail easily as Kachra found some help from the track and managed a hat-trick, eliciting fears of the track cracking on the final day. This was, however a false alarm as the track behaved true and accommodated, supported and even cheered cross-batted shots from the whole Indian batting line-up. Shots, which wouldn't last an over outside the subcontinent and their inadequate technique was exploited by the mean English pacer with a Merv Hughes beard when he hit Lakha on the head with a vicious bouncer.
Although India scored at a healthy rate, the fall of wickets at regular intervals meant the English were always ahead. It took an injured Ismail, a no-ball in the final delivery and a last ball DLF Maximum to see India home. In a typical IPL fashion, the captain received a Zintaesque hug from the main cheerleader as supporters cheered around him and the rain gods finally let go after holding their bladder for 3 days.
This was a match that will be remembered through ages for various reasons; the underdogs beat the favorites on their debut, India held their nerve in crunch situations, the last-ball finish, and above all, for the big prize money worth 3 years of Lagaan.
Post Match, speculations were rife regarding the nationality of the visitors. While their on-field sledging suggested Aussie roots, their failure to contain Bhuvan and remove Kachra in the last over left no doubt over their SA origin, although they kept swearing their loyalty to the Queen. Turns out that ECB hiring Saffers is a century old concept after all.
A special mention should be made of the sole commentator who stuck to his job of announcing the score without sounding foolish, a welcome relief after the crass Danny Morrison we witnessed during the IPL.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
IPL Diaries IV
•“We'll aim at getting a good start, not get all out, put a good total on board and then defend it" - Sanga's strategy after being asked to bat first.
•"One team will go home happy, the other will go home unhappy" - Shastri, before a match
•“The last shot was from Yuvraj. He came on strike after the last single." - Shastri again
•"God is prayed today more than ever, at this stadium here in Chennai" - Shastri baba!
•"Ishant to Tendulkar, who has played cricket for longer than Ishant has lived" - cricinfo commentator inspired by Bhogle
•"sorry Dwayne, no Bravo there"
•"Ishant is gonna go up to Sachin and ask, "What is it about me, that makes you go like this" - Harsha
•"In IPL you want to be disciplined and not naughty if you want to win the KF fairplay award
•"Of course Chennai will win. We got the Mongoose, and oh, also Hayden!!!" - Srikkant
•"Sirf India nahin, poora desh inka fan hai" - Angad Bedi
•"You put up a good total ony if all departments (bowling and fielding???) click" - Shilpa Shetty
•"Next match will feature an engrossing contest between...... SRK and Preity Zinta"
•"Shikhar Dhawan is the other half of the partnership" - Harsha Bhogle
•"DC have a bull in their logo but they didn't play like one today!!!
( Courtesy: Ashtung, Proxy and me)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Disguise
Shahid Afridi, the captain of Pakistan's squad for the World Twenty20, believes that not being selected to play in the IPL is a "blessing in disguise" for his players. "No I don't have any regrets at all. In a way it is a blessing in disguise for all our players that we are not playing in the IPL before the World Cup," Afridi told PTI.
So Shahid Afridi doesn’t have regrets. That’s really good. But dear Shahid did you have any regrets when you were found biting the ball like a chimpanzee? Oh I guess you had some but since it’s a common practice among your species so you don’t mind being traditional on field. What a true gentleman. Always keeps his feet on the ground. I wish the new generation can be like you: Modern, yet close to their roots.
"Given the problems that have besieged Pakistan cricket in recent months it is good that we have got time to work together as a team in the World Cup training camp, it has allowed us to settle down and focus on the World Twenty20," Afridi said.
Hmmm so you said something like work together. Am I right?? When was the last time when the entire Pakistan team worked together except while sacking their captain from the team? Oh yea of course Praying is another thing which the complete Pakistani team does together but since you are traditional so it’s quite obvious. But it’s really good that you guys got the time to settle down. You have been on quite a losing spree for a long time. You need a break or punishment as PCB imposed.
Pakistan's cricketers were unanimously cold-shouldered by IPL franchises despite being put up for auction before the current season of the tournament. This was the second successive year that Pakistan players missed out on the IPL, after being left out of the 2009 edition due to political tensions between the two countries. On that occasion, Pakistan went on to win the World Twenty20 tournament that followed.
And you blame India for all your miseries.
The Pakistan squad is undergoing rigorous training in Lahore in a bid to improve fielding and general fitness before the World Twenty20, and Afridi said it did not give his players time to follow the IPL. "We really are not following the IPL closely. We don't know who is playing or who is not playing because the purpose of holding this training camp has been to gel the players and allow them to prepare as a team for the World Twenty20," he said.
Now that’s what we call focus. Some morons will say watching some of the greatest players like Shane, Adam and Anil for their last time is incomparable but how does it can even stand in front of watching the veteran Legend Misbah-ul-Haq getting himself out in the most bizarre fashion possible. Right?? Or watching Umar Gul snuff it up again over looking out for your competitors' strengths and weaknesses so vividly on display. Perfectly understandable since that would amount to cheating as your team's skill-set will remain a mystery while exposing others and that is just too cunning even for the whole team's IQ put together.
And it’s very obvious since you don’t even know who are going to captain your own team then how can it be expected of you to know who is the fourth foreign player for RR.
Being the captain and most senior member in the team, Afridi admitted he had to shoulder extra responsibility. "[If we win] I would definitely feel that I have achieved the biggest landmark of my career, I want the team to do well in the World Cup. It is a big ambition for me and I know as a senior player I will have to show the way in every department of the game," he said.
Extra responsibility?? Definitely!! Now apart from bowling, batting and fielding you will have the added stress of getting it right even while taking a bite of the cherry. The captaincy of a Pakistani team is such a tough job but I am glad PCB has decided to take the advice of captain in the team selection from next year. That is great news for you.I mean not for you but for the captain following you. I guess that’s the average tenure for the Pakistan’s team captain – 1 tour. Right?
The World Twenty20 is scheduled to begin from April 30 with Pakistan slated to play Bangladesh and Australia in the league phase, on May 1st and 2nd respectively
BTW It will be interesting to see Shahid’s stance on next IPL. I don’t want to imagine because I know what will happen.
Did anybody say – “ thook ke chatna” or “ Swallowing-his-own-spit”
Monday, April 5, 2010
A Letter to Ramiz Raja
Dear Ramiz,
For years I have tolerated your ubiquitous presence at any post-match presentation ceremony or in the commentary box. I have cringed at your 80s hair-style, wondering if you actually realised that the hairdo, as well as you, were way past your popularity peak. While your command over the Queen's language made me doubt your nationality, the on-the-brink-of-crying voice during Pakistan's defeats confirmed it.
Even as a kid, your post match interviews either made me belch or laugh, depending upon the match's outcome and my mood. You however, managed to keep them senseless and directionless with a bloody minded persistence. And every time you uttered the word 'tremendous' more than thrice in a minute, I swore to God to torture you to a recording of that single word, played over and over again, until that was the only word you could speak. But the next second I used to remind myself that that would be redundant. And just when our relationship had hit rock bottom, you went ahead and started digging the bottom by doing this.
But isn't life funny? You ask why. Because I miss you. I miss your directionless remarks because they were at least cricket. I miss you because of the new presentation team in IPL. True, you sucked at it, but you sucked at it with the authority. Albeit, the authority of an ordinary and somewhat experienced ex-cricketer, but some authority nevertheless. Unlike the bunch of nincompoops who don't have any knowledge either of cricket and (hopefully) of what they are saying. Well, if they did really know what they were saying and still said it, they should be sent on a political and media exile to the US for being so dumb.
True, you are biased against India and are miserable when India wins. But here, any time winning would be Indian so you will always be miserable, unlike the partial Sunny who roots shamelessly for MI. To be honest, I'd enjoy that more than Sunny going hero-worshipping over a Sachin single. Between you and me, I also hate Sunny getting all poetic about the moon when showing off his GK on MRF and it's horrible offspring, the blimp.
To put things in perspective, if you were to be part of IPL, I doubt if I'd feel like breaking the TV any less than I do now. But at least I'll not feel ashamed of my fellow countrymen and feel like migrating to Bangladesh every time I wake up in the morning and will be able to blame it on Pakistan. Hence, dear Ramiz, please write a letter, or e-mail, or tweet, or court summon, to Mr. Modi, his assistant or his peon, depending upon your approach inside his office and offer yourself as Pakistan's gift to Indian cricket, in lieu of Sania Mirza. I am sure he will comply
(Writer is insanely passionate about Sachin, RR and anything related or starting with word 'BIO'. In his last 1.5 year stint he has been bumped from 11 Job interviews, 2 Management college admission interviews, started and shut down a start-up in a week, worked in a company, handled the parental business and again went back to work in some other company. He blogs at : ashtung where he enlighten the world with his experience of life. To reach the writer mail on to : ashutoshbihani@gmail.com)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
IPL Diaries III
Symonds is as safe as a house .. err.. Symonds is as safe as Future Generali Insurance
That one went like a trace of bullet .. err.. That one went as if it had been oiled by Shell Lubricants
Going Going Gone...err.. Going Going and that’s gone out of here for a Thomas Cook Holiday
Not just commentary, even Players and Officials may end up being tagged with sponsors.
HSBC World’s Local Bank IPL
Servo 100% Performance Everytime Rahul Dravid
Bombay Stock Exchange(BSE) Edge is Efficiency Mongoose Bat
Big Bazaar Isse Sastaa Aur Achhha Kahin Nahi Milega Shane Watson
Bingo Har Angle se mmmm Priety Zinta
And if Brian Lara fails to be part of IPL IV, Lalit Modi might end up saying –
There are somethings money can’t buy, for everything else there’s IPL.
To wrap this up, we have something courtesy cricinfo
In other news, a furious Pakistan Cricket Board is frantically searching for a player named Karbonn Kamaal,(brother of Asim Kamaal ?) who has apparently gone against the wishes of the board and is currently playing in the IPL. "Our sources say that this player has been playing and taking catches for multiple teams in the IPL. We will ban him mid-innings if it need be," said a distinguished looking gentleman with a resplendent, and slightly intimidating, white moustache.
IPL Diaries II
IPL is to world cricket what the ECB is to South Africa. Like the ECB has been the best employer for South Africa – Jonathan Trott, Matt Prior and Kevin Pieterson to name a few – the IPL has made stars of little known commodities like Nannes, Marsh, Harris and Watson. Warne in particular has taken the lead. With fortunes of RR plummeting don’t be surprised if you find a Tobanda Tmobia opening the bowling or some Wang Soo Chin coming in at one down later this spring.
It may be good news for other nations but has some brought to fore some dark truths for the home country. We now realize that Yusuf Pathan is not a Viv Richards in the making but a sporting version of Shiv Sena – all talk and no show – an over hyped minnow bashing hooligan. Yusuf Pathan treats spinners the same way as the Shiv Sena treats Biharis: Both the Shiv Sena and Pathan stand clueless when they have to confront tougher opponents. The IPL has also shown that Raina is still as susceptible to the short ball as the owners of this blog are to the inviting gestures of Kiera Knightly. It seems that we are nowhere close to replacing Anil Kumble. The best Indian spinner on show seems to be a 33 year old representing KKR !
The success of Lalit Modi.. err .. the success of IPL has suddenly seen a huge increase in the number of applications to the Business Admin course at the Duke University... ( for the uninitiated that’s where Modi is supposed to have done his graduation – at least according to Wiki. You are never sure with Indians though - a B.A from Dadar Business School would very likely be put on the CV as a M.B.A from Darden Business School... If you don’t believe us just go and check out Rahul Gandhi’s educational qualifications from 5 different sources. There’s everything from Delhi to Boston to London for a single undergrad degree).
[Guest Article] : 6 + 4 = 10dulkar
Long after this age is gone, long after may be even one day cricket is replaced by some other variety of the ever changing game, long after may be all prominent cricketers of today having retired, whenever there is a debate in one of those many pubs, over one of those many glasses of beer there will b one name. Like a phoenix his name will rise and make an identity of its own among the cricketing geniuses of the age gone by.
Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar- a name in India that is only next to God for this cricket hungry nation. Youngsters emulate his style, batsmen envy his quest for perfection and bowlers fear him as the one guy who can tarnish their career if not their bowling economy.
Even before he took guard in Gwalior his place as a cricketing God in India was set. Having amassed the highest number of runs in Tests and One-dayers alike his credibility as a batting maestro was something every Indian could vouch for. If his devout worshippers had any reason to quibble it was because of that lack of one record shattering innings under his belt. Brian Lara bosted of the highest test score of 400 whereas Saeed Anwar and a little known Charles Coventry shared the ODI record of 194 runs. While Lara fell out of love for cricket Saeed Anwar was a one hit wonder for Pakistani cricket. As for Charles Coventry people often asked Charles who?
147 balls later Tendulkar had set the record straight becoming the first batsman in the history of 39 years of ODI being played to score a double hundred in one innings.
The great Sir Donald Bradman saw himself in Tendulkar’s batting style and many still do consider Sachin second only to him. True, no one comes close to Bradman’s amazing average of 99.94 or his 29 centuries from just 52 test matches but one should keep in mind that Bradman never played a ODI which is more demanding on the body. That Tendulkar is breaking records a little short of 37 years in age in itself testifies for the little genius’s greatness.
Spin legend Shane Warne made no qualms declaring Sachin as his top contemporary cricketer of all times. More or less his twitter posts as Sachin neared his double century in Gwalior bears testimony to this fact.
For over a decade now he has made the nation dream with hope whenever he is on the pitch. He has made a billion pair of eyes follow him, pray for him, cry for him but yet he has not been bogged down by the immense burden of mass expectations. His bat spoke for them all- those perfect nudges and the cherry goes flying past the boundary ropes. He is the perfect example of how to keep ones head steady while dealing with stardom. 20 years into cricket never did he once let go of his quest for perfection.
It is said that when Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar comes out to bat the nation switches itself off and switches into Tendulkar. He is the dreams of millions of Indians on the pitch, a super hero who wins hearts with his sweeps and pulls if not the match.
The craze called Tendulkar knows no speed breakers, and it can be put in no better words than this poster being held out for the cameras by one of the fans when the master blaster was going full guns against Australia at the Sydney Cricket Ground.
"Go and commit mistakes, they would be ignored cause even God watches him when Sachin bats."
(Writer is another insane cricket fanatic. Daring enough to leave the assignments and write a post. Crazy enough to offer the editorial services for the blog. Free of cost off course. He can be reached at soumava.haldar@gmail.com)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
IPL Diaries -1
First let me make my stance clear. I support RR, my friend pattrow is a diehard fan of SRK so its ‘KKR’ for him and our third roommate favours ‘balika Vadhu’ so we can easily neglect the third option for the obvious reason. In the real sense, IPL 3 started for me when I saw Ganguly diving for a runout attempt. That was the moment. You could see something in his eyes. You could feel something from his body language. That moment told me something that IPL3 final is going to be between KKR and DD. Nothing can stop that. Winning both their opening matches, KKR solidified my belief.
Now the Favorites RR! Played two… Lost two! But did it hurt? NO. Yusuf 37 ball 100 with an 11 ball stretch of 5 sixes and 6 fours gave me what I wanted. And in the Delhi match, do you really believe that anyone, leave RR, will any chance when Sehwag is having a good day? But it’s good to see that the team is not giving up so easily. The only thing which made me sad was the look in Warne’s eyes. He looked tired. He looked aged. He looked dull. The shine in his eyes, the smile on the face was missing. Even the most beautiful 4 step run up looked different. Harsha Bhogle was right when he said that it might be his last IPL. I will definitely miss him.
But Harsha was wrong about Gilchrist. There is nothing stopping him. Seeing him thrashing the Chennai bowling attack is something I will rate at the top. Even above Yusuf stint. Much hyped mongoose bat is still absent. Symonds looked rusty. But he did his duties when it came to bludgeon cricket ball straight out of stands.
But as far as I am concerned, the moment of the IPL for me till now has been the cover drive of Rahul Dravid. The shot crushes all the argument and hyped for the innovative technique. Class is forever.
About bowlers, I feel Malinga’s slow bouncer has been the most intelligent ball in the circuit. Chaminda Vaas came back and proved his metal again. Maharoof and Angela Mathews are in form. I am still surprised why Sri Lanka lost against India. I am waiting for Kumble to fire.
Beside cricket, I am missing Preety Zinta’s Hug. I am missing Mandira Bedi. Seeing her and Siddhu together would have been like a dream come true.
The mood killers have been the commentary team. B-A-N Arun Lal and hang L Sivaramakrishnan to death. Send Sri Lankan and West Indies commentators back. And what with the advertisement world in India! I have never seen such a crap in my life. And an ad between two balls is a new low.
Doubts: What with the paunch Yuvraj is exhibiting now for more than a couple of year??
Speculating: Lara making news. Is he going to return in IPL 4? If this happens it would be the greatest comeback after Terminator 2’s “I am back”.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
46 singles were just not enough [Guest Writer]
India and China are the only 2 big economies unaffected by the meltdown. While the Chinese were busy hacking in to Google, whole of India dropped the work at hand to watch Him bat and then the highlights for the next 2 days. So in effect, Sachin has pushed the global economy back by 3 days.
Every possible imagery and superlative has already been used by one or the other to describe him and I could not possibly add to that, unless I learnt Japanese. But this is special. This one will be unattainable. Someone else, I am sure will go past the no. of centuries but nobody will ever be the first to a double ton now. It's his for keeps.
This is special for another reason too. All the statistics could only be used to compare him with others and could not quite establish his superiority. Something was amiss. Something that set him apart, like Lara's 400. This one pushes him a rung above doubt. 46 singles were just not enough.
I have to be honest here. Since the day he retired hurt at the rectangular field in NZ, I doubted if he will ever go past 150 again, let alone 2 tons. He cramped bad and the bitch called age seemed to be catching up. Hence, that heart-breaking 175 came as a surprise to me. But that day, I thought, the determination to win eclipsed age and I secretly braced myself on being able to watch his last great ODI Innings.
Wasn't so. This man is not about overpowering age. He is beyond it. It's as if age is just another delivery he should be careful of. He has simply cut down the risks and adrenaline the way he cut out the cover-drive at Sydney in 'that' 241-knock. The way only he can.
Moment of truth again. I am not really hopeful of India winning the next WC, no matter how passionate Sachin is about that. But I do hope that he proves me wrong once more. For himself.
His post-match interview summed it up for me when he said; "I was striking the ball pretty well."
PS: To reach the writer mail on to : ashutoshbihani@gmail.com